Thanks to my friend and colleague Brant Slomovic who alerted me to the fact that self-help guru Tony Robbins has apparently got himself into the nutritional nonsense business.
There’s his $79/month BioEnergy Greens,
"packed with superfoods, this powder nourishes your body at a cellular level giving you more energy, quicker recovery from exercise, mental clarity and overall increased well-being."
Oh, and then there’s $69/month Energy Now which
"will help boost your energy, focus and strength all vital elements of staying sharp and keeping your body at its peak."
Or how does strengthening and supporting your immune system to prevent illness sound? If good then maybe you need $39/month ImmunoBoost-C which apparently Tony takes,
"to prevent falling sick during his rigorous, nonstop travel and 16-hour workdays."
And how can you resist Vital Energy? At $189 per month it’s a steal given Tony says it’ll
"prevent illness, eliminate brain fog and experience lasting endurance all day, every day."
But if you’re serious about your health, clearly you’ll need to pony up another $219 to buy Tony’s 10 day Pure Body Cleanse, because as Tony points out,
"Toxins. They are in the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food we eat. And they are hurting every part of our body.
Toxic buildup in our body can contribute to chronic fatigue, body odor, insomnia, skin problems, bloating, headaches and our mood.
Your body is a machine, and when you fail to take care of it, it breaks down. Even when you make healthy choices, detoxing is a crucial step in maintaining lasting peak health."
And hey, if you’re struggling to lose weight and keep it off, Ultimate Weight Loss has you covered, where you can,
"achieve and maintain successful, healthy weight loss in 14 days with Ultimate Weight Loss."
No really, just 14 days, I mean it even says, in big letters,
"Hit your weight loss goal in just 14 days – and keep it off for good."
And just $189 for lifetime weight loss, who could say no?
Of course, there is this disclaimer on each and every page. I wonder if it’d be worth paying attention to?
Oh, and Tony, if you’re reading this, though of course I knew you were a salesman, somehow I didn’t think you’d stoop this low. My mistake.